Given the reaction of the Birkenstock Boomer school officials freak dancing is pretty sexy stuff.

Freaks, Geeks and Gr’ups
The Eternal Conflict (Episode 3,000,013)

It is difficult to write about "freak dancing" when one has never done it or seen it. Brief clips shown on television are sufficiently and appropriately dark to be of little help. Not to mention that when any phenomenon becomes the Cover Story of USA Today, it’s already too passé to merit much beyond perverse academic interest.(1)

Given the reaction of the fogies, aginners, and gr’ups (at this point mostly Birkenstock Boomer school officials who, in other venues, claim they were at Woodstock but weren’t), freak dancing is pretty sexy stuff, the most recent threat to the moral stability of mankind. Despite the obvious contradiction, these are likely the same school officials who are just one rule away from forcing students to go to school naked so they can’t carry concealed weapons.

• The study of biology, sociology, psychology and cultural history actually has purpose, but are subjects largely unabsorbed by some who become "educators."

• Not a single teenager who participates in freak dancing will grow up with aspirations of becoming a high school principal.

• About the only positive result from the school crackdown is that an aging Kevin Bacon will likely be offered a lucrative movie opportunity for role reversal.

• The school graduating class that chose the school janitor as their commencement speaker has mastered Machiavelli. They are the ones of whom adults should be frightened. Real frightened.

LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE!

A few of them may well become lap dancers or join the Chippendales, depending on their orientation, but many more will become ministers and doctors and parents and policemen and judges, guided by their own experience of the teenage condition. Maybe, left alone, their generation will get it right. None has so far, but then none has ever been left alone.

This latest round of adult angst over teenage behavior will quickly subside, because now it’s summer, the extended period when teenagers hide from adults to contrive the next outrage. After freak dancing, who knows? It may be flowers and love beads.

Nah! This bunch is a lot more creative than you were. They have also mastered Pavlov, and it works every time.

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