The President Consults with Liberal Senators
(a Double Super Secret Transcript) *

“Mr. President, we want you to fire Karl Rove.”

“No.”

“But he leaked that CIA hottie’s name.”

“No.”

“But you promised.”

“No.  Confirm John Bolton.

“Will you fire Karl Rove if we confirm John Bolton?”

“No.”

“Well, uh, we want you to nominate a liberal to the Supreme Court.”

“No.”

“But we need all that liberal wacko money.”

“No.”

“We could share.”

“No.”

“Well, uh, how about a woman?”

“Janice Rogers Brown.”

“Maybe someone, uh, a little, uh, less radical.”

“Phyllis Schlafly.”

“Could we have some water?”

“Bo Derek.”

“Would she sign autographs in her robe?”

“No.”

“Please, Mr. President, some water?”

“Ann Coulter.”

“There would be pies thrown all over the court.”

“I like mincemeat.  Very good at Christmas.”

“How about firing Rumsfeld?”

“I have to ride my bike now.”

(Sound of Oval Office door closing)

“What about just suspending Rove for a few days?”

“Excuse me, gentlemen, the President is gone.  I’m going to have to ask you leave the room now.”

“Why?”

“Mr. Rove needs it.”

“For what?”

“He said something about interviewing potential opponents for your Senate seats.  Please take some of those prune danishes with you.”

* The Center for Individual Freedom received the above transcript from a confidential source.  We will protect his identity until after lunch.  To obtain our notes, please call our attorney, Norman Pearlstine.