A month ago, 69 percent of Democrats responding to a Pew Research Center poll could not name any of the Democratic candidates for president, of which there are now nine.*

Ho Boy, you say.� Those folks just aren't with it.� Perhaps, but we're betting you can't name Snow White's seven dwarfs, and that's useful information.

Assuming that one is not going to be a contestant on a political trivia quiz show, why allocate even neutron-sized brain space to Dennis Kucinich?� He's not going to be president, a nominee for president or even a viable candidate for president.� Kucinich damn near scuttled Cleveland when he was mayor, and his candidacy for president was based on opposing a war that was over before the ink on his filing papers had dried.

Then there's Carol Moseley-Braun.� She's being run as the black candidate who isn't Al Sharpton, so why remember her?

We're puzzled that more Democrats can't name the Reverend Al Sharpton as a candidate.� The only explanation we can muster is that many people may think he's in jail for some of his past escapades.

Bob Graham, U.S. Senator and former Governor of Florida, had what seemed like a good idea for his candidacy.� He'd run as the "electable" candidate.� He said that about a week before a poll showed him losing to the president in his home state (where voters do know him) by nine points.� Wouldn't want to peak the electability thing too early.� Not to worry, Graham's numbers will shoot up dramatically when Al Gore convinces his Palm Beach, Broward and Dade County voters that he's not running.

Joe Lieberman is running, but since nine percent of the Democrats who participated in the poll think Al Gore is, Lieberman is likely to have a mistaken identity problem for a while.

Richard Gephardt is running, and he's being credited by pundits as the first candidate out of the chute with a so-called Bold Idea.� It's so bold that it approaches the intersection of suicidal.� Gephardt has introduced his version of Hillary Clinton's universal health care, to be paid for by a repeal of President Bush's tax cuts (which only truly dumb people don't recognize as a tax increase).

Howard Dean, former Governor of Vermont, is running.� More Democrats would have named him, but Martin Sheen, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, Mike Farrell, Janeane Garofalo, Rob Reiner and other Hollywood luminaries all have unlisted telephone numbers and couldn't be reached by pollsters.

John Edwards just confuses people, on purpose.� He says he's the candidate for "regular folks," but he's being financed largely by trial lawyers.� Still, his name recognition is likely to soar as investigations of his campaign finances develop.

John Kerry is running and running and running.� He's got several problems.� He so frequently reminds people that he's a Vietnam War hero that many Democrats think he just wants to replace General Tommy Franks.� He's tried to be Irish and Jewish; he really does look French, and he speaks of the United Nations with such fondness that many Americans mistake him for a foreign diplomat.� That image is enhanced by positions that are both for and against everything at the same time.

So there you have it, a perfectly logical explanation for why normal, intelligent Democrats cannot name Democratic candidates for president.� There is, of course, another possible explanation.� The country already has a president.�

*We could cite similar, more recent data from a New York Times/CBS poll, but who would trust the credibility of that?