While some of those voters may well plead diminished capacity, contributory negligence or involuntary pigslaughter, they are most certainly guilty as accessories to unintended consequences, that ever-increasing side effect of political acts.� Faced with a ban on the methodology for housing pregnant sows, the only two Florida pig farmers who used so-called "gestation cells" are exiting the business, capitalizing their porcine assets.� (For background on the Florida initiative, read: We, the [Pregnant Pigs] Of the State of Florida…)�

"If you had to be tortured and killed or just killed, I think most of us would go for just killed," rationalized a PETA spokesvegan who didn't even attend the funerals.

Well, yes, forced to choose between false premises, "just killed" might be the option of choice, akin to a mark's pick in three-card monte.� In the case of pig farming, "tortured" is in the eye of the beholder.� The differences between terrorist and freedom fighter come to mind.� Killed, however, is killed.� Not much room for postmodern relativistic interpretation there.

Although the American Veterinary Medicine Association, a somewhat more credible source than PETA, endorses the birthing habitats that the Florida initiative eliminated, voters chose to believe people who eat kale.� (Not to cause dissociative issues for vegan hordes, but don't veggies suck nutrients from the precious planet?� Aren't non-leather shoes made from byproducts of petroleum?� Aren't hemp plantation workers exploited?)

It won't be long before the unfortunate of us who live where initiatives are allowed will be again pestered by special-interest groups convinced that representative government established by the Constitution is an alien plot.� Lest you, too, be suckered when they return, there are some basic rules for dealing with initiatives, and it's never too soon to learn them.

• Sign no initiative petition solicited by someone who doesn't look like you.� A barefoot guy with orange hair in a t-shirt that reads "save the shrimp" is not likely to be pushing something you support.� You may appropriately refer to this procedure as profiling.� It does not violate the civil rights of petition gatherers.� On the other hand, setting initiative signature gatherers afire in the public square is not free expression protected by the First Amendment.
  
  

• Disregard, in totality, any words spoken by any signature gatherer, including the seemingly innocent "good morning."� If approached, you are a pigeon to be plucked of signature, name (please print) and address, just like those Hollywood celebrities who sign all that are put before them.� You don't want to act like a Hollywood celebrity, do you?
  
  

• Sign no initiative petition you have not read.� You should have learned to sign absolutely nothing you have not read from the same person who taught you not to talk to strangers, but parental responsibility isn't what it used to be.
  
  

• Once an initiative is qualified for a ballot by obtaining the requisite number of signatures, you are truly screwed.� The initiative will be publicly debated.� Ignore the debate, because neither side will tell you the truth.� It's more and more likely that neither side understands the truth, because none of the political activists crafting these things has ever been mistaken for James Madison.� Not even Alexander Hamilton.
  
  

• Before you vote on an initiative, carefully study the ballot language.� Have an unabridged dictionary, advanced economics textbook and a fairly complete law library close at hand.� Keep in mind that voting yes frequently means no and vice versa.� It's complicated out there, and that's not unintentional.
  
  

• After an initiative passes, the losing side will sue to have it overturned.� Probability theory teaches that you are exceptionally likely to be on the losing side.� Being a responsible citizen, you should set aside an amount at least equal to your children's college fund to pay your fair share of the legal costs.
  

There is, of course, an easier, better way to deal with ballot initiatives.� Just say no.� With the rarest of exceptions, initiatives are mischievous undertakings that behave badly once set upon a largely bewildered populace.� Remember that business about how one citizen can make a difference.� Ninety-nine times out of a 100 that's not true, but a large unruly mob is a whole different story.� Tea, anyone?