John Edwards announced he was running for president to help "regular folks."� Well, those ain't the Gulfstreams of regular folks he's flying around in. John Edwards:� Stayin' Alive; Stayin' Alive

When we wrote last week about U.S. Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards' campaign contributions from his trial lawyer cronies, including a criminal investigation of some of them by the Justice Department, we omitted part of the original Washington Post story.� We did so purposefully because that part, brief though it was, is worth special consideration.

In the Post story, reporters Thomas Edsall and Dan Balz wrote, near the end where only junkies read:� "Sources close to the Edwards campaign supplied documents [to the reporters] showing that [U.S. Senator and presidential candidate John] Kerry, in his 1996 Senate campaign, returned nearly $8,000 reportedly supplied by Johnny Chung, who allegedly disguised the money as contributions from four people."� [Emphasis added]

Well, wasn't that helpful, giving those documents to two hardasses about to pull John Edwards' pants down?� Those sources close to the Edwards campaign couldn't be nicer.� What a wonderful coincidence, just having those documents all ready to go on a moment's notice.

Nay, children, those designated sources were just fulfilling one of those fundamental rules of political campaigning.� When you're tit deep in your own green slime, try to sling some of it on your opponent.� Message to voters:� Hey, we're all a bunch of scumbags, so judge me by some other standard.

Haven't you read my plan for helping the old, poor and infirm?� Didn't you see me kiss those babies, one of each race and gender?� Look, pal, I supported campaign finance reform!� That's not my French poodle!

Political campaigning is a brutal and brutalizing experience.� Perhaps it should be, but that's another discussion.� Campaigning has also become shuck and jive of an order below the commercials of psychic friends, which it shouldn't be.

John Edwards announced he was running for president to help "regular folks."� Well, those ain't the Gulfstreams of regular folks he's flying around in.� Some of his contributors may gulp Metamucil, but that don't make them regular either.� Regular folks don't get on either side of illegal campaign contributions.� Most regular folks are too turned off a degeneratively sordid system to make legal contributions, not even doing that checkoff thing on their tax returns, which don't cost them any more than has already been taken from them.

Some regular folks still do vote.� They can be wrong in their choices, and they can be conned, but only by masters of the art.� John Edwards is no Bill Clinton.� Not even Al Sharpton.

May 1, 2003
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