A Florida man may need to pay closer attention to the old adage, “We all put our pants on the same way.”

Escambia County Judge Pat Kinsey dismissed a lawsuit filed by Alfred Freed against an underwear company, stating that the fault lies with plaintiff Freed who testified that “he dresses by placing his underwear inside the pants he plans to wear that day and then pulls both on together.  He testified he never puts his underwear on and adjusts himself to get comfortable.”

Freed, who weighs about 285 pounds, sued Hanesbrands, Inc. for $5,000 in damages he blamed on a gap in his briefs that resulted in painful rubbing.  Hanesbrands’ expert witness insisted the underwear was fine.  Freed rejected the company’s offer to settle for $1,500.

Acting as his own lawyer, Freed argued that the irritation was caused by sand he picked up in his bathing suit while on a Hawaiian vacation.  Over time the condition worsened and Freed claimed an abrasion developed because there was a tendency for the fly to “gap” while he walked.  The hearing included evidentiary presentations regarding “horizontal tension” versus “vertical tension.”  In a four-page ruling, Judge Kinsey wrote, “It was proved to the court that plaintiff’s manner of getting into his underwear was far more likely to have caused this problem than defective manufacturing.”

The lawsuit was dismissed, but Kinsey cited that her jurisdiction did not extend far enough to grant Hanesbrands’ request to ban Freed from posting videos about his case on the Internet.

—Source:  Pensacola News Journal (Florida)