Hamilton County (Ohio) Judge Robert Ruehlman is fed up with swearing in his courtroom and he is doing something about it. 

On consecutive days, Judge Ruehlman sentenced two individuals to six months in jail for swearing in his courtroom.  Not the swearing in of a party or witness, but rather cuss words from an individual.

First, it was an accused gang member.  Unhappy with having to wait in jail for several more weeks until his trial, accused gang member Jamel Sechrest muttered “That’s (bleeping) bull (bleep).”  “You don’t say bull (bleep) in the courtroom,” Ruehlman told Sechrest before citing him for contempt and sentencing him to six months in jail.

The following day, attorney Michael Brautigam was before the court as his own attorney when he called his opposing counsel “a (bleeping) liar.”  After admitting to the judge what he said under his breath, Brautigam was cited for contempt and sent to jail for six months.  “I had to give him six months because I gave the other guy six months,” Ruehlman said.

“Judge Ruehlman absolutely did the right thing by attempting to maintain order, civility and decorum in his courtroom.  Attorney Brautigam has been discourteous and disrespectful to judges, lawyers and litigants in our community on more than one occasion,” said opposing counsel Peter Koenig.

—Source:  Cincinnati Enquirer

A North Carolina lawyer has been held in criminal contempt for reading a magazine during a court session. District Court Judge Kevin Eddinger issued the contempt order against attorney Todd Paris after witnessing him reading Maxim, a men's magazine, while seated on a bench in court reserved for lawyers. The cover of the magazine prominently featured a female topless model.

According to the court's order, Mr. Paris apologized and "stated in his view the magazine was not pornography, was available at local stores and that he didn't intend contempt." Judge Eddinger found Mr. Paris' conduct to be "grossly inappropriate" and "patently offensive" and "impaired the respect due" the court. Mr. Paris was issued a $300 fine and a 15-day suspended prison sentence.

According to news reports, Maxim is sending both Judge Eddinger and Mr. Paris a one-year complimentary subscription.

—Source: The Wall Street Journal

A Michigan woman has sued Starburst's parent company, Mars Inc., maker of the fruit chews candy, claiming that the candies are so chewy that they should come with a warning label.

Victoria McArthur of Romeo, Michigan is seeking more than $25,000 in damages for "permanent personal injuries" she allegedly suffered after chewing on Starburst's yellow candy. McArthur claims that after about three chews her jaw literally locked and was pulled out of joint. As a result, she claims she now suffers from a condition known as temporal mandibular joint dysfunction, more commonly referred to as TMJ, which allegedly causes trouble chewing, talking and sleeping.

"Prior to said incident, Plaintiff was a reasonably strong and healthy female," says the complaint. "Due to the negligence of said defendant and injuries afore described, Plaintiff became ill, sore and lame."

McArthur's lawyer, Brian Muawad, says McArthur offered to negotiate a settlement with Starburst's insurer to pay for her rehabilitation, but the offer was denied. A spokesman for Mars Inc. refused to comment.

"I don't want to see anybody else have to go through what I have gone through from eating a piece of candy that was supposed to be soft chew," McArthur said.

—Source: FoxNews.com

Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Boyce Martin recently turned to Homer Simpson for legal support in his dissenting opinion.

At issue in the case: Whether an employee was bound to arbitrate, rather than sue, over an employment dispute when she continued to work at a company after it instituted an arbitration program for employment-related disputes.

In disagreement with the majority's decision, Judge Martin delved into the intricacies of contract law asking "without a signal that she understands that a contract is being made, how is one to know if she has truly accepted."

Judge Martin then footnoted a monologue of Homer Simpson, the father in the popular Fox television series, "The Simpsons."

"Homer Simpson talking to God: 'Here's the deal; you freeze everything as it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. [no response] OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, please give me no sign. [no response] Thy will be done.' The Simpsons: And Maggie Makes Three (Fox television broadcast, Jan. 22, 1995)"

Judge Martin, 72, credited his law clerk Anne Gordon with the analogy.

—Source: The Wall Street Journal