The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the Government, and I'm here to…
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California's Proposed AB 1414 Would Deprive Lower-Income Tenants of Critical Internet Service

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help.

There’s a good reason why one of Ronald Reagan’s most memorable adages remains so poignant today.

Namely, government officials’ ability to harm people whom their well-intentioned laws are meant to benefit remains a tragic and all-too-common pitfall of government activity.

A recent illustration of that tragic paradox exists in a California proposal known as AB 1414, which if enacted would prohibit landlords from making internet service subscriptions with specific service providers part of their rental packages.

Although any proposal that purports to increase tenant choice seems superficially positive in the abstract, the problem with AB 1414 is that it would only…[more]

July 23, 2025 • 01:03 PM

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Jester’s Courtroom
This Takes the Cake
Wednesday, March 02 2016

A fan is suing electro house musician Steve Aoki because of his signature cake-in-the-face toss.

Las Vegas club guest Raymond Collins claims he suffered a serious head injury when he slipped and fell on a cake that landed on the ground after Aoki tossed it out into the audience. According to news sources, Collins says he has lost income as a result of the accident and is suing for damages for mental suffering, loss of enjoyment of life, and more.

—Source: tmz.com

 

A Wafer-Thin Potential Lawsuit
Wednesday, February 24 2016

A law student in England is considering legal action if Nestle fails to apologize and adequately compensate her following a KitKat bar mishap.

According to news sources, Saima Ahmad claims the pack of eight KitKats she bought were all missing a key ingredient: the wafers. "If I wanted to purchase a confectionery item that is purely chocolate, I would have purchased a bar of Galaxy," Ahmad wrote in her letter demanding a lifetime supply of KitKats as compensation for her loss. "The loss I have suffered is of monetary and emotional significance."

Citing a 1930s case to support her claim, Ahmad wrote, "The truth of the matter is manufacturers owe a duty of care to consumers. The specific duty you owe is consistency in your manufacturing process. The failure to take due care in the manufacturing process resulted in a product being defective."

Ahmad has not ruled out taking the matter further.

“Nestle has a huge following and I don’t think these mistakes are acceptable,” she says. “I’m trying my luck, if you don’t ask you don’t get.”

—Source:  fox8.com

 

A Cheesy Lawsuit
Tuesday, February 16 2016

McDonald's is back in court again, this time defending its new mozzarella sticks.

A class-action lawsuit has been filed in California by lead plaintiff Chris Howe who alleges that McDonald's customers in the United States are being misled into believing they paid for "real" mozzarella cheese in the new sticks. Howe's lawsuit claims 3.76 percent of the cheese-filled substance is "composed (in part) of starch." Howe is seeking up to $50 million in damages.

McDonald's replies that the company isn't engaged in fraud, and that the cheese sticks are "made with 100 percent low moisture part skim mozzarella cheese."

—Source:  grubstreet.com

It Was Only a Matter of Time
Thursday, February 11 2016

As some may have predicted, the family that won a third of the $1.6 billion Powerball jackpot is being sued.

Jonathan Lee Riches, also known as Jihadi Schmitz, is suing the Robinson family of Munford, Tennessee, the Multistage Lottery Commission and Powerball. Mr. Riches' claims he is entitled to one-half of the Robinson's winnings.

According to his lawsuit, handwritten from the penitentiary in which he is incarcerated, Mr. Riches claims he was in frequent contact with Tiffany Robinson, the daughter of the winners. Mr. Riches further claims he sent Tiffany $20 from his prison trust fund instructing her to have her parents buy lottery tickets with the money. According to news reports, Mr. Riches further claims that Tiffany was going to “murry him,” and that if they won the lottery, they would leave America to live on a remote island full of milk and honey.

Mr. Robinson has said he bought the winning ticket at his wife’s request. The Robinson family is entitled to roughly $533 million if they collect 30 years of payments, or roughly $327 million in a lump sum.

—Source: Forbes.com

 

The Stench Ends with a Little Fun from the Bench
Wednesday, February 03 2016

A Franklin County (Ohio) judge dismissed a lawsuit with a little wit.

Common Pleas Judge David E. Cain took to poetry to dismiss a lawsuit filed by an inmate who accused a correction officer of causing him to soil his pants while standing in line for recreation at the prison.  According to news reports, inmate Darek Lathan warned the officer at the Correctional Reception Center in Orient, Ohio, the he was struggling with a cold and diarrhea from taking cold showers in prison, but wasn't allowed to get out of line. Lathan, who was seeking $2 million in damages, charged that he suffered "harassment, embarrassment, riddiculing (sic) and emotional distress."

In viewing Lathan's case as frivolous, Judge Cain dismissed it, writing,

Cold showers caused his bowels to malfunction
Or so the plaintiff claims
A strict uncaring prison guard
Is whom the plaintiff blames.

While in line for recreation
And little time for hesitation
His anal sphincter just exploded
The plaintiff's britches quickly loaded.

It made the inmates laugh and play
To see the plaintiff's pants this way
The foul, unsightly, putrid mess
Caused the plaintiff major stress.

Claiming loss and shame to boot
The plaintiff filed the present suit
But the law provideth no relief
From such unmitigated grief.

Neither runs nor constipation
Can justify this litigation
Whether bowels constrict or flex
De minimus non curat lex.

A judge for nearly 30 years, Cain said this was the first time he has issued a decision in rhyme.

"I only have three years to go” before an age restriction prevents him from seeking re-election, he said. “If there’s anything I want to do, I better get about doing it. I just wanted to have some fun."

—Source: The Columbus Dispatch 



Notable Quote   
 
"Federal employee unions are bracing for battle after courts have lifted a series of injunctions that were stalling the Trump administration's plans to end collective bargaining rights at a number of agencies.Trump in March signed an executive order laying the groundwork for a sweeping rescission of a number of existing union contracts at government agencies. The administration argues 18 different…[more]
 
 
— Rebecca Beitsch, The Hill
 
Liberty Poll   

Do you believe that President Trump's ordered deployment of National Guard troops to enhance police efforts in Washington, D.C., will yield a significant, measurable reduction in that city's crime rates?